Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Passion Fruit


Desires know no bounds. They slowly crawl into your life and before you know it engulfs your entire persona and governs the life’s action. Such was the intensity of desire that moved two such souls being drifted apart by the vagaries of fortune. So it was but natural that when they crossed the hurdles being thrown at them by life they were nothing but eager to find love & peace in each other’s embrace.
For all the raw passion & the sea of emotions that were causing turmoil deep within the reaches of their heart they put on an expert show of defiance in front of each other. However such a façade falls apart when each one can see through the veil of normalcy for they know each other too well. They have known each other only over a period spanning a few months but it seems like ages especially when most of the moments are spent in the solitude bereft of each other’s company. Now they stand only a body length from each other but it seems that even this distance seems hard to bear. It is evening and it has gone a little dark, a gentle breeze blows across but it seems strong enough to sweep both of them off their feet & throw them into each other’s arms. They take small hesitant steps towards each other but with every step the distance only seems to grow greater. It defies all the logic and rationale that they have imbibed over the period of a lifetime for they can’t seem to put in place what they feel for each other. The feeling is so intense, so passionate, so heartfelt that no words in the world can seem to do justice. They approach each other & stare into each other’s souls and whisper a song of love, of happiness, of grief, of passion, of pain, of their longing for each other. Their lips tremble and long to feel the sensation that they have longed for ages now. Small droplets of rain suddenly seem to grace the moment & break the bridge of silence as they exchange a free spirited smile & without uttering another word they bury themselves in each other embrace. Their arms start tracing out the silhouette of their bodies which is now mildly wet because of the rain which has got a little heavier. They start to feel the intense desire rising through them as they look at each other in embrace & then through the maze of raindrops they start to kiss each other with all the longing & the desire which has separated them over time. It seems like a culmination of all things good & bad that makes the Universe go round for the Universe for them doesn’t extend beyond each other.  

Monday, January 21, 2013

The Mortal Fear of Initiation

Why is there such a Mortal Fear within me to start of something new? The more I think about it the more I keep on conjecturing about it, pondering about it, weighing the pros and cons rather than acting on it. I have a lot of self doubts within me & sometimes they tend to weigh me down. Am I really as good at something as others make me feel or is it just a self delusion that I am dwelling in? It seems like a Bubble some kind of Utopian world that I have created for myself within the realms of which I am happy & content. To say the Truth maybe I am really scared of moving out of this island paradise of mine in which I am appreciated & everyone around me thinks that I have a lot of Potential when it comes to certain aspects of my Life. It is like a promising Artist, a budding young talent in whom everyone pins a lot of faith & hope that they will become great one day but when they do start on their journey some of them just fade into oblivion. Some because of a lack of Self Belief, Some in the face of competition from their contemporaries & others because they lack the strength of will & determination required to succeed. Strangely I believe I am susceptible to all the aforesaid shortcomings & also the biggest drawback of all the conviction to start onto something that gives your life some meaning, something which makes you believe that you may be actually be onto something big. I strangely feel jealous of some of my friends who inspite of their Hardships in life are still struggling to find a purpose, a defining objective which lends some purpose to their otherwise mundane life. These are the sort of people who I might be scornful of because I feel that Life is all about Planning & Organizing your  Goals & they are guilty of not adhering to it but deep inside if I am truthful to myself I crave to do the same. I feel like Breaking Free of the Self Imposed Shackles that I have tied around my life & do something that I feel I may be way better than many of the populace. So What is it exactly that gives me a pause? Is it because I dont have the conviction to do something New as I have always been used to a disciplined & Organized chain of thought or Maybe Because I am an escapist running away from it under the false pretense of an overtly demanding schedule or maybe I am deluding myself into believing that I am content with my current State & pace of Life which does not demand much out of me. I believe it is an Amalgamation of all the factors & maybe a Few more which I am yet to be aware of. I strongly feel at times that I am too much of an idealist who believes a lot of theorizing rather than get down to the act of getting my hands dirty & actually get the job done. Someone who would sit at the Shore wondering in amazement at the raging Storm than actually taking the Boat docked on the Shore and brave the Storm just for the heck of exploring what lies beyond it. Maybe it is about time that I put on my armor, sharpen my Battle Axe & dive into the Heat of Battle rather than sitting comfortably in the Tent & Strategize about it.

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